your parents love me but you hate me
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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