I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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