When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I want to be your penis for a week.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
