wat bout pragnant strippers??
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize