It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize