I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
