Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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