Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
