did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
