Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
