party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
