If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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