Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
