I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
