One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
