make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Terrible idea I love it
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
