thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
