My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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