i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
