this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
