I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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