my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Randomize
