I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
