The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
