yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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