Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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