piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
