Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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