well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
