Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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