So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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