the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
