Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize