failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize