if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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