that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
