So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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