it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
