I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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