sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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