I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Come see our sink grown plant.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
