just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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