this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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