Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
