is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
