What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
