i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
