Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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