2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
