You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
