Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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