I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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