is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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