I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
