Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
