You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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