sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
